friendship

Inspired by mies blogg and a conversation I had with my best friend recently I wanted to say something about friendship. I'm one of the people who don't have many friends. Unlike what most people might think. For me it takes a lot to call someone a friend. For me it means that I can say whatever I need to say. Nomatter how embarrasing, selfish, stupid or crazy it might be. If it's on my mind I need to know that I can say it.

"The best mirror is an old friend."

- George Herbert

I also hope that in times of need these are the people who will be there for me when I need someone. I had a pretty difficult time going on 2 years ago when my husband was in the hospital getting heart surgery, but I was totally unable, at the time, to ask for help or say that things were hard. It was like I made a protective shield to cover me and the kids. We were in this boble where nothing could touch us. Luckily a couple of these "friends" got it anyways. They came over, called other people to come over to help out, and took time to listen and make us dinner. It ment a lot!

I also think that friend should be allowed to disagree. To say it when they think I make stupid desicions. To question my motives and let me know when they think I'm wrong. Most times I know it anyway. I just need someone to say it out loud.

"A true friend stabs you in the front."

- Oscar Wilde

 
Another thing that I love in my friends is the ability to see me. To see the emotion behind the smile. To see the worry in the tears. To understand that something is wrong when I say everything is fine. I'm not always good at displaying how I fell right away, but with the right friend, and the right question I'm open like a book.

This is why I have few friends. If they don't fit all these points they are acquaintances. And I have many acquaintances! I love them all and sure I call them friends. But my close friends are special!

"Think where man's glory most begins and ends,

And say my glory was I had such friends."

- William Yeats

When I'm on the subject maybe I should mention the falling out of friendship too. This hasn't happened often to me. Only once in fact. It was a horrible experience and as heartbreaking as falling out of love. The sadest part is that I don't see how we can ever find common ground again. The base of the friendship was shoock to it's core in a way that I really see no hope for starting over.

This post is dedicated to all my friends out there near and far -you know who you are!

"I count myselt in nothing else so happy

As in a soul rememb'ring my good friends."

- William Shakespeare